Your Heart is an Empty Room

You know that extremely annoying feeling when you feel a sneeze coming on... you get almost all the way up to the best full-blown sneeze you've had in years. That great inhale, your eyes roll back... and then nothing. All that buildup for nothing.

The ultimate letdown, as far as bodily functions go.

I feel that same way, except substitute a sneeze for a cry.


I don't know why I feel this huge need to break down and let one loose.

We Are Marshall

Hey. A few updates.

I've lost 25 pounds on my diet. I've stopped driving so fast. I'm not on my depression medication anymore. I have 2 jobs now. Nothing big. Not a career. I could use a big hug, and a good cry.

I guess all of those could use an explanation.

My diet. I've stopped eating so much and started exercising. 1700 calories a day and at least 20 minutes on the treadmill. I've been feeling better overall.

My driving habits. I decided that it's not worth it for me to always be looking out for cops. You won't find me recklessly endangering myself and the public on the roads anymore.

My depression medicine. A drug is a drug. Ask anyone at Narcotics Anonymous. I was addicted for the better part of a year to a "medicine" with powerful effects. I took myself off the drug the same way that it was prescribed to me. Gradually adjusting the dosage. My mood has definitely suffered. Like I said, the drug is powerful. I think that I am better off without the drug though.

My two jobs. I posted a few times ago about my Security Guard job. I trained on Friday for the position. We'll see if I like the job itself. I think I will. As for the second job I'm entering data for a local gun store. Cash under the table. Spending money. Saving money. Whatever. It's a job.

Oh, by the way. I cut my own hair the other day. It's a lot harder than you'd think. With no mirror you don't really know what you're cutting. I think it took me the better part of 40 minutes to get it all right.

Talk to me. I enjoy it.

Crash Into Me

I guess this deserves an update.

I got offered a job as a Security guard at a power plant in Masontown, PA. Not sure if I'll take the job. 55 minute commute and only 9 dollars an hour isn't really that appealing to me. However, anything is better than nothing. I'm waiting to hear back from the school counselor job. It'd be real nice to get. It'd be $32,000 a year. More money than when I was moving boxes. Go figure.

I'm strongly considering the military though. I was talking with mom last night and I figured the numbers to be about $80,000 a year after all the benefits. Wow. Opportunity. There's always drawbacks. Like the whole war aspect. I'm still thinking things over.

I started a diet & exercise plan. I lost 15 pounds my first week. Then I did some physical training with the Marines and gained back 5 pounds of muscle. (It could be also the lost days exercise because I was so sore to do anything the next 3 days.) Needless to say, it's working. I feel good about it.

We'll see what comes.

Disappear

I always liked the part of Xanga where you put whatever music or movie you're watching at the time of your post. From now on all my titles are going to be the titles of the song that I'm listening to at the time of the post.

Moving on to business. I see three avenues ahead of me.

1) I end up getting a job from a far-off job application somewhere. I don't even remember half the places that I've applied to. I hope they remember me though.

2) Go back to school in the fall. It's the only sensible investment to make nowadays.

3) Join the military. Not sure which branch. Met with a recruiter for the Marines today. It'd be a good opportunity for me to get out of this comfort zone I'm in now. Get some experience/adventure.

What do you all think? Also, I'd really like to go across country on my motorcycle. Maybe that's 3.5.

Untitled

So Bike Week is over, I'm not old enough to be set foot on a casino's floor, and I'm sleepy.

The good news is that I've been guaranteed a job on July 1st with the casino. (She really likes me)

Also, I'm considering going back to school for my MBA. It'd have a concentration in Human Resources Management.

We'll see what happens.

For those of you who are confused about what a barback is:

http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=barback&l=1


But yeah, it's basically a bartender's assistant.

It's my last full day in Florida. Need to take one more decent ride on the bike, and a decent walk on the beach. I got to take a ride around Daytona International Speedway! That was pretty awesome. All-in-all this was a pretty good week.

I have a headache

So I didn't get the job at Verizon Wireless.

I did, however, get a call from a long lost job application. I might be a barback at the Meadow's casino.

I'm in Florida now. I have a tan. I got a haircut. I'm sleeping better.

Smiles from miles away.