Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

I'm still alive.

Poetically Pathetic

So many new experiences.

Florida was great. I got 2 possible jobs. One is a Lieutenant (site manager) position at a security firm in Palm Coast, FL. The second is an opportunity to be a Florida State Trooper. I'd be excited for both. Just a chance to get out and get my life started.

About new experiences, however.

I've been noticing over the past few weeks that I've been put in completely new situations. I've appreciated every single one. For example, on my way back from Florida a part on my engine died. Normally, I'd be super pissed that I was losing all this driving time. But I took it in stride. I pulled into a shop and found a nice buffet. 2 hours later I was back on the road. With a new experience under my belt.

When I Go Down

So this is a new experience.

After finishing work tonight I'm laid off. I'm going to carpe the diem and take a trip down to Florida. See if I can get a job.

In Essence We Are Falling

Just wanted to update my profile in light of recent events.

So, we have The Colbert Connection. We have The Minter Messenger. Now we have The Diesing Delineation.

You're welcome.

Do You Believe In Love

I was thinking about my strengths and thinking that they're all dandy and stuff. However, ignoring my weaknesses isn't so dandy.

So I thought a little bit about of my weaknesses. I believe my weaknesses are something along the lines of the following: Being a bad thinker. I'm much more of a doer. I'm not very creative. Put me with a creative person and I can accomplish anything. I feel like I have a hard time conveying what I'm trying to say.

Another strength that I figured out in the past few days. I work well in a team.

The end.

I never realized how hard saying goodbye to everyone would be. After spending 3 years with people I guess you get attached.

I've thought a lot about my identity. I don't really know who I am anymore. Without a set direction to go I've lost my mental picture of who I am. Time to go back to basics.

The only thing that stays the same, regardless of where I am in my life is that I am a Christian. Because of that fact I am out of control of my life, another thing I have struggled with in the past few days.

Giving up control isn't the worst thing in life. But it might be the scariest. However, because I'm not in control of my life I can't screw things up like my parents tell me I do. I am in the care of the sovereign God of the universe. He's "got my back". My life's story has been written. I just have to have my ear to the ground in order to follow orders.

Sorry for another scatterbrained post.

Suite: Judy Blue Eyes

I've been thinking a lot lately about what my strengths are. I have a small list. I was planning on asking you all if you could help me out a little bit.

I feel my strengths are my resourcefulness, dedication, ability/willingness to listen, ability to relate (especially to blue collared workers), and awesomeness.

Maybe 4/5.

Let me know what you think.

Chicken Fried

I was just thinking that the reason that I like helping people with their own problems is because I'm trying to avoid my own problems. I don't know if that statement holds any water, but it does kinda make sense.

Lost Odyssey (Game)

I brought another book to work last night and read the whole way through. Trust me, I do my job to a "T" also. I just have a lot of down time.

The book is called How to Self Destruct: Making the Least of What's Left of Your Career by Jason Seiden. The book is fun to read because it mixes fun reading with great advice. I'd recommend it to anyone who has, or is considering getting a job. =)

This is quickly becoming Dustin's Book Club.

I also wanted to say that mornings are way more beautiful than evenings. I'm truly sorry that I've missed [almost] every morning for the last 4 years of my life. I at the very least failed to appreciate the beauty of a morning when I did happen to see one.

This job is alright. I got moved to a different post. So rather than just logging cars in and out of a parking lot I log cars in and out of a gate and perform random foot patrols. Basically, I sit in a booth and make money. That's all I'm really doing.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Here's more pages of life that I'm stealing from popular culture to reflect what I'm going through.

Before I get to the quote I just wanted to say that I've never read a book this fast. I tore through this book. I read the whole thing in about 10 hours. The best part is, I was being paid to do it. I have so much down time at this security job that I can read a book. Which I guess is cool.

This book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, is a series of letters written by a high school freshman, Charlie. Charlie is a very endearing character. I mean that. You really feel for him. The transformation that Charlie goes through is so delightful.

I read this book like 6 or 7 years ago and I didn't really understand that much of what the book was about. Reading it now was a whole new take on the book. I understood it.

Anyway, the quote that I wanted to tell everyone about is towards the end of the book. Charlie and his group of friends are sitting around celebrating the older kids graduating from high school. I don't really remember ever doing this because of the circumstances of my graduation. Or that I just didn't have friends in high school. They're all sitting around, reminiscing, and Charlie reflects on the moment by saying this: "The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. They had become stories. Nobody brought up the bad names or the bad times. And nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia."

Now, I was thinking about how this doesn't exactly happen in college. At least not towards the end. The only time that I remember this happening is at the end of freshman year. Which is interesting to me.

*shrug*. Let me know what you think. Or if you want to read the book. I'm done writing for the moment.

Ta ta for now.

And the Hero Dies in This One

I cried today. It was good.

I was watching October Sky and thinking about the parallels that it had to my life.

The father character seems a whole lot like my father.

One scene in particular the father is giving his son a hard time for wanting to pursue his dreams to work with rockets and space. The father then asks his son how meeting his hero the rocket scientist Wernher von Braun. The son replies to the father something to the effect of "Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as tough. I only hope I can be as good a man as you. Sure, Wernher von Braun is a great scientist. but he isn't my hero." The son walks away and the father goes back to work visibly touched by what his son just said. I wish I had the balls to say that to my dad.

Note: Life never happens like it does in the movies.

Breakfast at Tiffany's (Song)

Hey all. It's been a while. I'm going to chalk that extreme sadness to the affects of quitting my depression medication. I can now say I am completely off the drug with no more 'tics' or negative effects.

"And I said, 'What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?' She said, 'I think I remember the film. As I recall I think we both kinda liked it.' And I said, 'Well that's the one thing we got.'"

I've been working my 2 jobs now for a little bit. The security guard job isn't anything near cool. I log cars in and out of a parking lot. By myself. For 12 hours straight. If I leave my post anytime for any reason, I'm fired. The data entry job isn't so bad. The boss is awesome.

TTFN

Your Heart is an Empty Room

You know that extremely annoying feeling when you feel a sneeze coming on... you get almost all the way up to the best full-blown sneeze you've had in years. That great inhale, your eyes roll back... and then nothing. All that buildup for nothing.

The ultimate letdown, as far as bodily functions go.

I feel that same way, except substitute a sneeze for a cry.


I don't know why I feel this huge need to break down and let one loose.

We Are Marshall

Hey. A few updates.

I've lost 25 pounds on my diet. I've stopped driving so fast. I'm not on my depression medication anymore. I have 2 jobs now. Nothing big. Not a career. I could use a big hug, and a good cry.

I guess all of those could use an explanation.

My diet. I've stopped eating so much and started exercising. 1700 calories a day and at least 20 minutes on the treadmill. I've been feeling better overall.

My driving habits. I decided that it's not worth it for me to always be looking out for cops. You won't find me recklessly endangering myself and the public on the roads anymore.

My depression medicine. A drug is a drug. Ask anyone at Narcotics Anonymous. I was addicted for the better part of a year to a "medicine" with powerful effects. I took myself off the drug the same way that it was prescribed to me. Gradually adjusting the dosage. My mood has definitely suffered. Like I said, the drug is powerful. I think that I am better off without the drug though.

My two jobs. I posted a few times ago about my Security Guard job. I trained on Friday for the position. We'll see if I like the job itself. I think I will. As for the second job I'm entering data for a local gun store. Cash under the table. Spending money. Saving money. Whatever. It's a job.

Oh, by the way. I cut my own hair the other day. It's a lot harder than you'd think. With no mirror you don't really know what you're cutting. I think it took me the better part of 40 minutes to get it all right.

Talk to me. I enjoy it.

Crash Into Me

I guess this deserves an update.

I got offered a job as a Security guard at a power plant in Masontown, PA. Not sure if I'll take the job. 55 minute commute and only 9 dollars an hour isn't really that appealing to me. However, anything is better than nothing. I'm waiting to hear back from the school counselor job. It'd be real nice to get. It'd be $32,000 a year. More money than when I was moving boxes. Go figure.

I'm strongly considering the military though. I was talking with mom last night and I figured the numbers to be about $80,000 a year after all the benefits. Wow. Opportunity. There's always drawbacks. Like the whole war aspect. I'm still thinking things over.

I started a diet & exercise plan. I lost 15 pounds my first week. Then I did some physical training with the Marines and gained back 5 pounds of muscle. (It could be also the lost days exercise because I was so sore to do anything the next 3 days.) Needless to say, it's working. I feel good about it.

We'll see what comes.

Disappear

I always liked the part of Xanga where you put whatever music or movie you're watching at the time of your post. From now on all my titles are going to be the titles of the song that I'm listening to at the time of the post.

Moving on to business. I see three avenues ahead of me.

1) I end up getting a job from a far-off job application somewhere. I don't even remember half the places that I've applied to. I hope they remember me though.

2) Go back to school in the fall. It's the only sensible investment to make nowadays.

3) Join the military. Not sure which branch. Met with a recruiter for the Marines today. It'd be a good opportunity for me to get out of this comfort zone I'm in now. Get some experience/adventure.

What do you all think? Also, I'd really like to go across country on my motorcycle. Maybe that's 3.5.

Untitled

So Bike Week is over, I'm not old enough to be set foot on a casino's floor, and I'm sleepy.

The good news is that I've been guaranteed a job on July 1st with the casino. (She really likes me)

Also, I'm considering going back to school for my MBA. It'd have a concentration in Human Resources Management.

We'll see what happens.

For those of you who are confused about what a barback is:

http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=barback&l=1


But yeah, it's basically a bartender's assistant.

It's my last full day in Florida. Need to take one more decent ride on the bike, and a decent walk on the beach. I got to take a ride around Daytona International Speedway! That was pretty awesome. All-in-all this was a pretty good week.

I have a headache

So I didn't get the job at Verizon Wireless.

I did, however, get a call from a long lost job application. I might be a barback at the Meadow's casino.

I'm in Florida now. I have a tan. I got a haircut. I'm sleeping better.

Smiles from miles away.

Stuck in limbo... in Florida

Well I was hoping to make this post be about my response from Verizon. I was hoping even more to tell you all (read: both) that I am one of the newest hires with America's number one cellular company.

However, I'm writing now from Florida on vacation. I was thinking that I'd hear from them this past Monday. We'll see. I hope I get the job. It would make my year.

We'll see.

The Survivors Club widget

Phone interview today

Phone interview today, with Verizon Wireless. Hopefully I won't say 'um' too much. I'd really like to get in with this company. It'd give me a really good opportunity to move up and relocate around the US. I'm thinking about putting my application back in for my old job at Target. My old boss left so it'd be a lot nicer there.

We'll see.

Another day hunting the dollar

6 job apps in today. Albeit 4 of them were for the same company. I have a phone interview on Thursday. I'd be real nice to have a clear direction to go.

Lord, help me to be awesome.

Meds

So basically I slept 22 hours yesterday. The problem is that I have a serious problem falling asleep without these pills. I slept from 4:30 to 2:30. Maybe it's all the stress in my life. Maybe not, looking at it all, I have a very stress-free life. No basic needs that aren't being met. I just need some friends who are close by. I was spoiled in college.

Job application for the day is at PPG. Manager in training.

Hey all,

Hopefully I'll be faithful about this. Maybe you'll all learn something about me. We'll see.